Your Comfort Is Not The Point

If you really want to help someone dealing with PTSD or trauma, resist the urge to comfort them into feeling better. You cannot fix it. You cannot erase it. It lives with them.

Be present. Be real. “I’m sorry” is enough.

Do not attempt to rewrite their story, redirect their thoughts, or make it more comfortable for you to hear. They are not always seeking your solution, your advice, or your fix. Often they’re just sharing what they could never say before so they can hear it and begin to make sense of it because the timing is finally right. It’s NOT about you. You just happen to be in the room.

Even the best of intentions can be triggering when they mirror past experience: when you smooth it over instead of acknowledging what is actually in front of you; a pattern they recognize…others ignoring the elephant in the room, you now become another statistic in a long list of assaults.

You are not there to fix it. You are not there to perform healing. You are not Jesus.

This is not about walking on eggshells. It is about authenticity.

Sometimes the most honest thing you can say is, “I do not know what to say.”

If you have lived it, you understand.